Summary of CCEF Booklet – Should We Get Married? How to Evaluate Your Relationship by William Smith
Share a Common Vision
Are you both committed to living for Jesus?
How do your love for Jesus and your desire to follow him express itself in your relationship on a day-to-day basis?
- Do you appeal to the Bible for help when you have conflicts or confusing decisions to make?
- Is God involved in your relationship? Do his thoughts, values, goals, and attitudes shape you on a daily basis?
- Do you pray together?
- Do you share what God is teaching you from his Word with each other?
- When was the last time God’s plans, purposes, and concerns made a difference to what you thought, said, or did as a couple?
- Are your desires for lifestyle, family size, occupation, and geographical location similar?
- If you started with different goals in any of these areas, are you able to work toward agreement?
- Do you point each other to Christ as you experience problems?
- When you’re struggling with feeling anxious, angry, discouraged, confused, or overwhelmed, does your partner listen well and help you see how Jesus meets the need you have?
- Do you respond well when you are pointed to Christ?
Track Record of Handling Conflicts
How do you handle money?
- Do you sense a mutual concern for each other’s interests in your present sharing of resources as you plan activities, decide whose parents and friends to visit, and what to do with your “downtime”?
- Do you both look to other’s interests? Or only to your own? (Philippians 2:4)
How do you handle sex?
- Do you end a date when you see he’s tired and needs to sleep, but neither of you wants to go home?
- Does it matter to you that she regularly dines on popcorns and brownies after work?
- Are you willing to make an issue of his unwillingness to get an annual physical?
- Do you plan dates that tempt both of you physically?
How do you handle children?
- With what attitudes do you serve?
- Do you serve joyfully, quickly, and thankfully?
- Or do you complain and serve grudgingly, slowly, or not at all?
- Where, as a couple, do you give to others?
- Does giving to others substitute for knowing each other?
- Does your giving come from joy or duty?
- Do you give only as a way to feel good about yourself?
Would you answer the questions above honestly and seek other people to speak into your life?