Should We Get Married?


Summary of CCEF Booklet – Should We Get Married? How to Evaluate Your Relationship by William Smith

Share a Common Vision
Are you both committed to living for Jesus?
How do your love for Jesus and your desire to follow him express itself in your relationship on a day-to-day basis?

  • Do you appeal to the Bible for help when you have conflicts or confusing decisions to make?
  • Is God involved in your relationship? Do his thoughts, values, goals, and attitudes shape you on a daily basis?
  • Do you pray together?
  • Do you share what God is teaching you from his Word with each other?
  • When was the last time God’s plans, purposes, and concerns made a difference to what you thought, said, or did as a couple?
  • Are your desires for lifestyle, family size, occupation, and geographical location similar?
  • If you started with different goals in any of these areas, are you able to work toward agreement?
  • Do you point each other to Christ as you experience problems?
  • When you’re struggling with feeling anxious, angry, discouraged, confused, or overwhelmed, does your partner listen well and help you see how Jesus meets the need you have?
  • Do you respond well when you are pointed to Christ?

Track Record of Handling Conflicts

How do you handle money?

  • Do you sense a mutual concern for each other’s interests in your present sharing of resources as you plan activities, decide whose parents and friends to visit, and what to do with your “downtime”?
  • Do you both look to other’s interests? Or only to your own? (Philippians 2:4)

How do you handle sex?

  • Do you end a date when you see he’s tired and needs to sleep, but neither of you wants to go home?
  • Does it matter to you that she regularly dines on popcorns and brownies after work?
  • Are you willing to make an issue of his unwillingness to get an annual physical?
  • Do you plan dates that tempt both of you physically?

How do you handle children?

  • With what attitudes do you serve?
  • Do you serve joyfully, quickly, and thankfully?
  • Or do you complain and serve grudgingly, slowly, or not at all?
  • Where, as a couple, do you give to others?
  • Does giving to others substitute for knowing each other?
  • Does your giving come from joy or duty?
  • Do you give only as a way to feel good about yourself?

Would you answer the questions above honestly and seek other people to speak into your life?



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