Single and Lonely



A summary of CCEF booklet “Single and Lonely” – Finding the Intimacy You Desire by Jayne V. Clark

A Common Experience 
People feel lonely whether they are married or not. The list of people who experience loneliness goes on and on. Circumstances vary, but the feelings are similar. We feel isolated, vulnerable and alone.

A Flawed Strategy
We manipulate people for us to feel accepted and to protect ourselves.

The Remedy for Loneliness

  • Loneliness is a result of man’s original sin against God in the Garden of Eden (Genesis 3:1-13).
  • The perfect union Adam and Eve had enjoyed with God and with each other was destroyed when they chose to disobey God.
  • Sin separated them from God and from each other. (Hiding, Loss, Rejection, Blame – all ingredients of loneliness).
  • Remember, it was a married couple who first experienced loneliness.
  • The real solution to loneliness lies not in marriage, but in our union with Christ, which leads to our union with one another.
  • Jesus was redefining and enlarging the meaning of family. It’s still based on blood- but it’s his shed blood.
  • Because of Jesus’ love for his Father – and their love for us – Jesus hung on the cross until he died. By paying the penalty for our sin, he reversed the effects of the Fall and turned the tide on loneliness.

Loneliness Can Be Relieved 

  • Loneliness will not be eliminated until we get to heaven.
  • But in Jesus Christ and through his work, change is possible.
  • Ask God to show your loneliness and its cause.
  • Ask God to change your heart and deepen your relationship with him.

Changed Priorities and Perspectives 
God also changes our priorities. Rather than being self-absorbed, we become more focused on others.

  1. Look and see.
    How many people cross our paths every day?
    How are we going to minister to a world full of lonely people if we haven’t frist looked to see them?
  2. Listen.
    Something else we can do to move toward people is to listen to them – listen well.
    If God cares enough to listen to us, how cna we not care enough to listen to others?
    Listening well requires us to take a genuine interest in others and it requires patience and wisdom that come only the the work of God’s Spirit in us.
  3. Touch.
    Touch can ease the loneliness of others.
    When someone has been deprived of touch or hurt by inappropriate touch, it is wonderful to see her respond with joy when she is touched in kindness with the love of Christ.

A Community of Oneness with Christ

  • Whether we are single or married, we will experience loneliness in this fallen world.
  • But God wants us to enter into our loneliness and transform it.
  • He unites us to himself and each other in Jesus as we submit our lives to him; and he calls us to enter into the loneliness of those around us.


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